kara's musings

(note pre-post: this was supposed to have been published yesterday but I suck and didn't do it, so it is one day late but the sentiment is the same). A momentous milestone in training, right? I've basically been training for this since my last marathon in April. Of 2007. Yes, 2007.I spent a glorious weekend in Nashville, TN with Team in Training running the Country Music Marathon -- in fact the picture accompanying this post is from that race. It took me a smidgen over four hours (my goal time then and now) and it was brutal. It was hot, a little hilly, and I was unprepared. True, I had run hundreds of miles but had no idea what I was in for mentally and emotionally.

I have spent the last 3 years and change recovering physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually -- you name it. As a result, I'm both a little excited and afraid of the race coming up. I've turned it into this huge hurdle for myself by pinning all my running hopes and dreams on it. For those of you who've known me for a while you've likely heard the story of how I got started running nearly 16 years ago (holy S*&@ 16 years ago!!! that makes me feel so old) at least once or twice (or maybe five times) before but nonetheless - it bears repeating.

I was 11 when the magic happened. For me, it was the perfect storm of starting at a new school, being threatened by the bully on the bus (who ended up being a friend/mentor of sorts), and my mother reclaiming her life from her cigarette addiction (my smoker friends that are reading this -- I'm aiming my thoughts at you all right now). We were in Florida visiting my Nana on spring break and my Mom had starting doing daily exercise runs on the local golf course. She didn't want to go alone and so I got dragged (or went willingly, I can't remember) along too. When I got back to Ohio and to school, I thought I was going to play Lacrosse, but it turned out that our Middle School track team (all of 4 people at the time) needed runners. So, I met the bully on the bus (also Captain of aforementioned track team) and started running for her, from her, with her. Just running. Turns out those daily golf course outings had paid off for me!

The rest, is history! I ran track through high-school, swam in the off season to stay in shape, and eventually started running in local races in college (jingle bell run, turkey trot, etc., etc.) I started forcing other friends to run with me and my runs got longer and longer. Suddenly, that 3 miles was 5 miles, then the 5 miles became 10 miles and so on. Running became my social crutch when I moved to a new city (both DC and NYC), my frustration outlet when I needed to think through a problem, my health/weight loss vehicle, and now when I look back it is the only thing that has truly remained constant in my life. There is almost nothing else that I can think of that I have done as consistently and as continuously as my daily run.

Yet still, I have a love/hate relationship with running. I LOVE to run. A run can make me smile from ear to ear, make a bad day good, even help me solve world hunger! However, I also sometimes lack motivation to run -- hence the training for the races. But, races make me nervous and competitive and cranky when I don't hit my goal and they suck some of the fun out of running. I'm all twisted up in this habit I can't kick. The thrill at the end of a race when I know I've done my best, or I've come out in the freezing cold or the pouring rain, or when I've reached a new mileage goal or a shattered my previous personal record is unlike anything else in the world. I feel invincible in those moments and it is almost as addicting as my Mother's cigarettes (you'll all be happy to know she has not smoked since she started running all those years ago and I never smoked).

It is why year after year I try to get in to the elusive NYC marathon (2011 is my year thanks to my 9+1 this year) and why I wake up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday after having skipped the oh-so-fun-sounding company happy hour to run 18 miles. That feeling is why, in fact, I am running the Chicago Marathon in 26 days. It is why I try. Being a runner, and knowing that feeling at the end of a race, is like being in a club. The likemindedness of runners is uncanny. They are often my best friends (or certainly we become best friends after running all those miles together and sharing all the awkward bodily function moments) and the people I look towards for help. Runners are my heroes and I try to share the beauty of running with everyone (ie this blog and many of the organizations I'm involved with in my spare time). Running is everything to me.

So, in 26 days I will run my second ever marathon. I will hate myself the night before, and feel like puking at the starting line, and then possibly hate myself again around mile 17 (and also 22), but when I cross that finish line I will cry tears of joy that it is over and also that I did it. And then I'll rest for a bit and do lots of Yoga and start it all over again. Wish me luck and share your magical running stories below!

This post is dedicated to all the wonderful, amazing, fabulous runners in my life. (I'd list you all but I'll definitely forget someone and then they'll get mad - so just suffice it to say that you know who you are)